A diagnosis of cancer can turn a patient’s world upside-down. Much like being conscripted to fight in a war they had often known nothing about mere moments before that fateful appointment, the shock can be immense. There is the impact on one’s day-to-day activity, with work and family life, vacations, hobbies, and even menial tasks like yard work and grocery shopping often revised or put on an indefinite hold in lieu of a seemingly endless stream of appointments, tests and procedures. Long-term, the stress compounds further still, with the sudden wave of fear as goals and aspirations once taken for granted are suddenly thrust into uncertainty. There are both logistical, practical concerns as well as profound emotional, existential concerns. Fortunately, a number of interventions exist to aid the patient with both managing and processing these issues. There are support groups, counsellors, spiritual advisors, healthcare providers and, most importantly, caregivers – the spouses, children, parents and friends who, like the patient, often drop everything in an effort to win the war and see the best possible outcome realized.
However, despite the numerous channels through which a patient can receive guidance and support, the caregiver is often left on the sideline, failing to acknowledge or address their own fears, feelings, and insecurities so that they can better “be there for their loved one”. The caregiver’s concerns and struggles are often suppressed further to avoid feeling selfish, perceiving their own needs and emotions as secondary, irrelevant, or a hindrance to the patient.
While it is certainly crucial to avoid instilling in the patient feelings of guilt for the impact his or her health condition may have on others, it is nonetheless equally important for those who encounter, work or interact with the caregiver of a cancer patient to ensure that they, too, have a voice and an outlet for their experiences. Ultimately, however, the responsibility lies with the caregiver to seek out support or assistance when needed. Just as the patient must assume the primary decision-making role in their care so, too, must each caregiver be vigilant to remain healthy and strong, for their loved ones, and for themselves.
By Dr. Boudreau, N.D.
07/12/2016
